Author: GoodNeon
14 November 2015 12:08
Tags: loving hands tips
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In a relationship between two people, every detail is important: words, looks, touches. How often do you hold hands? Are you holding on at all? Holding your partner's hand means a lot in a relationship, and the way you hold hands can tell a lot about how you feel.
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One holds the other's fingers
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If your partner leads you by holding only a few fingers rather than your whole hand, that means something. You are both independent, courageous, and have your own passions and interests that go beyond the boundaries of your relationship. Most likely, you both like to be alone and try to maintain your individuality. But at the end of the day, you will definitely end up together, because your relationship is strong and reliable.
Basic Types of Positive Touch
| A formal greeting indicating predisposition. The signal of predisposition is enhanced if the usual shaking of the right hands is supplemented by the application of the left hand, or by touching the partner’s shoulder with the left hand. | A signal indicating an intimate relationship between partners (sometimes the process of courtship). A heterosexual gesture, as the man's hand is close to the woman's genitals. |
| A gesture “reserved” for couples in love. Young people often practice it in public, others in a more intimate setting, or also in public, but in especially “pathetic” moments (for example, after a long separation). | It means unconditional trust, as it involves hand access to one of the most vulnerable parts of the body. Thus, even the slightest hand-head contact signals a close connection. |
| A gesture similar in meaning to a kiss on the lips. Practiced mainly by young couples. Signals an absolute desire to be in constant contact, isolated from the environment. | The sexual side of the relationship between partners, since caresses are part of erotic foreplay. In public, the weasel conveys a signal of close connection to others. |
| The parents are holding the child in their arms, or the girl is sitting in the arms of the guy. A gesture of support. In adults, it is practiced only when it is necessary to help. | Fake AttackPushes, blows, kicks, performed in a humorous manner that does not provoke pain. They do not mean aggression, but friendship. Sometimes this is the only way to demonstrate the “cordiality” of relationships among guys and men. |
Accompanying contactOne leads the other with a light hug around the shoulders, or supporting the hand. A controlling and patronizing gesture. | A common gesture meaning praise, friendship, support.. Sometimes it has a humorous meaning: “Hmm.. What a great fellow you are!” |
| The most common gesture signifying a connection between partners. Has a symbolic meaning of protection and possession. It is performed in public to convey its meaning to everyone. | Common among children with parents and among lovers. In adults, this is a gesture of sexual connection or a ritual symbol of “break-reunion.” |
| A predominantly masculine gesture. Practically the only socially accepted way to express friendship between men through physical contact. | In childhood, this type of touch is needed to support the child learning to walk, as well as to protect him. In adults, the meaning of mutual connection acquires. |
There are also friendly touches, sometimes perhaps unconscious. Various studies show that the most pleasant things for us to remember are those meetings during which we were touched, and as little consciously as possible.
Touching can be an expression of dominance: two people are talking, and one, from time to time, pokes a finger in the other's chest. Or one put his hand on the other's shoulder, thus expressing his higher status. Indeed, usually a person of higher rank initiates physical contact: a boss puts a protective hand on a subordinate's shoulder, an old man may pat a child on the cheek, and more often than not, men (as the dominant sex) touch women first.
Women show more trust in relationships with each other than men. Quite often you can see girls holding each other's hands, or one woman straightening another's hair.
Men also touch each other, but according to their own strict rules. These are greeting handshakes, friendly fights. If touching goes beyond certain limits, this may be a sign of homosexuality.
But touch is needed not only for communication. Research shows that physical contact is the key to normal mental development. For example, infant primates raised in isolation, not touched or licked by their mother, remained sexually immature, and some did not even attempt mating. If a newborn kitten closes one eye for several weeks, it will never learn to see with it. For many organs, it is not enough just to be healthy; they must also learn to function.
The same thing happens with human children. A child who has received a sufficient amount of maternal and paternal affection will grow up more mature mentally and sexually. All sexual contacts of adults are based somewhere in their depth on the experience of physical contact with parents acquired in early childhood.
The meaning of touch is also manifested in the function of consolation. With their help, we want to strengthen relationships that are sometimes severely tested. Therefore, we touch each other more at the moment of any grief, after a dangerous situation has passed, before and after a long separation. In such situations, we especially feel the need for connection and through gestures of touch we exalt the moment.
Our tendency in difficult moments to touch “our own kind” is also dictated by physiological reasons. Stimulated skin plays a major role in creating a feeling of well-being. Some receptors, stimulated in a certain way, send a signal to the pituitary gland, where, after a series of chemical reactions, the so-called endogenous morphines are released, which cause us pleasant sensations. These same substances are also released during emergency situations, for example, during childbirth or some kind of injury, to reduce pain.
The language of touch
Every day we have physical contacts, desirable and not so desirable. The language of touch has its own meaning. Check out this short dictionary of this complex language.
Girl, may I touch you?!
The diagram shows parts of the body that have different “availability coefficients” for others.
- Unpainted body parts are at the disposal of almost everyone around this girl. Hands are available for contact when greeting or for friendly “pats”, etc. The face is available when kissing on the cheek, for example.
- Green indicates parts of the body that can only be touched in public by people from her immediate circle - these are her partner or parents (hair, neck, area near the chest, sides, knees).
- "Forbidden" body parts are indicated in blue. Available only to a partner in an intimate setting.
Sometimes these laws can be broken. At an appointment with a doctor, a massage therapist, etc. Or, for example, a shoe seller has the right to touch the feet of customers.
Nonverbal signals when communicating
Neck grab
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As with intertwined fingers, this type of hug means that you are very close, but this option no longer fits the concept of “holding hands.” If you are hugged in this way, it means your partner is expressing his or her protection towards you, but if you hug your significant other in this way, it means you are proud of your relationship and will protect him or her from any danger at the cost of your life.
She is mine if her hands are intertwined
This is the most common way to hold hands. He can be seen especially often in wedding photographs, where her petite hand rests on top of his strong palm. Lovers express the vital energy in their relationship, as well as the desire to protect each other. Such relationships are characterized by mutual respect, trust and admiration.
Everyone has their own passions and interests
“I love it when she lets me talk about things I’m interested in.”
A conversation can be so sincere and pleasant, even if the interlocutor does not share your interests. Some people think that talking about what the other doesn't like is a negative thing and simply upsets the partner. And that's true sometimes, but it also makes you feel a lot better.
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This guy understands perfectly how lucky he is with his girl. Because love is about understanding who your partner is, showing respect for him, and not trying to change him. Absolutely everyone wants this.
Other bright signals that indicate a man is in love
The gestures and facial expressions of a man in love, his eyes and postures are not all that can tell you about the feelings of a representative of the stronger sex. There are also subtle signs in non-verbal behavior that indicate a warm attitude towards a woman.
- A guy in love subconsciously adopts the gestures, body position, breathing rate, and pace of conversation of the girl he likes. If you notice this emotional adjustment, then you are perceived as more than a friend.
- Demonstration of your financial well-being. Show off your wrist with an expensive watch once again, carry a gold-plated pen with you, twirl the latest model phone in your hand, treat your team with expensive delicacies - this whole game is for you if you catch the above-mentioned signals in your direction. This is how males in love behave, saying: “Pay attention to me, you will not be disappointed, I will fulfill your desires.”
- Unusual behavior. Illogical statements, embarrassment, excessive swagger, spontaneity, fussiness, increased activity, etc. If you have known a man for a long time, pay attention to whether he has changed or has always been like this.
- A man in love always tries to impress the lady of his heart with masculine actions, so he often appears before our eyes. What you need? Borrow an umbrella, walk you home late at night, help you climb to the 8th floor, fix the printer, stand up for you with a colleague, listen to you, give good advice? The knight will always be in the right place at the right time!
- The gait becomes more airy, flying, soaring. The pose is open, the head is raised. This is how a man demonstrates natural strength, agility, and grace.
- The voice of a man in love betrays him completely. If he is self-confident, the timbre becomes lower than usual, hoarseness may be present, the pace of speech slows down, the voice sounds more courageous and mature. This speaks of lust. If the companion is unsure of himself, on the contrary, the voice will become beyond his control: the timbre will be higher than the real one, the speech will be confused, fast, monotonous.
People in love also have their own strange gestures. We are sometimes so clumsy in front of the object of our affection that these features from the outside seem crazy. Have you ever noticed that in your presence a man makes illogical, unconscious movements? For example, straightens an empty wrist (as if it were a watch), unbuttons the top buttons without touching them, loosens the tie, leaving it in the same position, etc.? If you notice these non-verbal gestures, you know that the man is trying his best to attract your attention!
Do not rush to ridicule or condemn a man for absurd manifestations of love. Nonverbal behavior is an unconscious message that does not lend itself to introspection. The more strange the gestures in your direction, the more naked the person’s feelings!
The signs of male love are so multifaceted that it is simply inappropriate to evaluate gestures taken out of context. Psychology already contains so many books on nonverbalism that you can determine a man’s true attitude towards himself with his eyes closed. The bestsellers are “Body Language” by A. Pease and B. Pease, “I See Right Through You. Learn to read a person like a book” by K. Messinger, “I see what you are thinking” by D. Navarro and M. Karlins, “How to learn to understand people” by O. Sergeev and many others. This is a truly necessary skill in interpersonal communication, because we can avoid mistakes and act on the right conclusions. Study men, know yourself, be happy!
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