9 main reasons why a child cries in his sleep

Biorhythms of a newborn

Biorhythms, which make us active or, conversely, make us tired and want to sleep, return to normal after three to four months of the baby’s life, and are finally formed by the age of two years.
When a baby is not yet a month old, his sleep and activity cycle lasts 90 minutes. That is, three hours. This is the basis for feeding every three hours. By three months, this cycle is increasingly stabilized. The child may no longer wake up after 00.00, falling asleep at 21.00 and waking up around 05.00 - 06.00. If the night passes calmly, the mother also gets enough sleep and can breastfeed the baby normally. At two years old, the baby’s sleeping and waking habits become stable. But at the same time, this age can be a milestone when a turning point occurs in the child’s personality, and he wants more attention. Then it may be difficult to put the baby down.

Why is the baby crying?

When starting to teach their baby to fall asleep independently, many mothers are concerned about the following questions:

— Is it necessary for a child to cry during sleep training?

- Is it normal if he cries?

To figure out whether crying is normal and how to understand what the baby wants, as well as how to act, we offer you this reminder article:

“Checklist”: why does the child cry?

Situation: when being put to bed by mom, dad or another person, the baby cries.

Analyze whether the baby is hungry (when did he last eat). Here it is important to take into account the intervals at which the baby is accustomed to receiving food, as well as the baby’s age. For example, if the baby is 9 months old and he is used to eating every hour, this does not mean that he cannot withstand an hour without food. But a 2-month-old baby may well be hungry after an hour.

Make sure your baby is not thirsty , especially if the room is hot and dry. In this case, you can offer him warm water.

Assess the baby’s health – is he sick or is he teething? During such periods, it is better not to start sleep training, because it is difficult for the baby, he needs to regain strength and return to a stable state in order to be ready for changes and new things.

Check to see if your baby needs a diaper changed.

Touch the baby, make sure he is not hot/cold/clothes are comfortable and nothing is in the way.

If you went through the “checklist”, answering “no” to all the questions, then with a high degree of probability the baby is crying because he is thus expressing his protest against a new, unusual way of laying down.

It is important for parents to understand that even if the baby cries, this does not mean that his needs are not being met. To make sure of this, you can mentally go through a “checklist”. Crying occurs because the baby does not receive the usual method of help.

What does your baby want?

Let's consider one of the most popular examples of a situation in which crying occurs - the separation of the chest and sleep.

- If we are talking about the breast as a way of calming, then it is important to understand - is he asking for the breast itself or what his mother gives him with the help of the breast?

- If we are not talking about the breast and the need for milk, then the baby is probably asking for attention, care, warmth, presence.

ALL these qualities remain, and they are still available, even if the mother did not give breast.

These important emotional needs can be met by mom, dad or grandma. It is important for an adult to understand that crying in this case does not indicate need deprivation, but only that the baby does not know that his need (for care, attention, etc.) CAN be satisfied not only with the help of the breast.

Children are big conservatives. They love everything familiar, familiar, and do not like everything new, unusual. For something new to become familiar, you need to give the baby time to get used to it.

As a rule, this is 3-4 days, provided that the parents adhere to the new rule, without periodically returning to the old ways of bed.

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What should you do if your baby cries when you put him to sleep?

Go through the checklist and make sure everything is okay with the baby.

Take care of your comfort (a cozy blanket or a cup of tea, or thoughts about the pleasant activity that awaits you after going to bed)

Look at the baby not through the prism of “he must be put down at any cost,” but through the prism of “This is my son/daughter. It's not easy for him right now. And it's not easy for me. But I love him/her. This means we can definitely handle it!” Attitude is very important.

Look at how many ways there are to stop a baby from crying - you can bring him to the window, rustle with something, wash his face with warm water from a pre-prepared basin, rock him, lie with him, sit, sing a song, tell a story, hum (omm), and so on and so forth - the options can be the most unexpected, and the more unexpected they are, the more likely it is that the baby will be able to switch.

The only thing you should not do is leave your baby alone to cry in the room. In this case, his need for help and security will truly be deprived.

The most important thing when putting your baby to bed is to remember that the baby needs time to adapt and you also need this time. Give it to yourself, don’t rush, don’t worry, behave consistently, and the very next day after you start training, you will notice positive dynamics.

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Why does a child cry in his sleep?

Newborns crying at night may be caused by tummy pain.
The cause of a baby's crying at 3-4 months may be bloating, and at 4-5 months it may be due to teething. At this moment, the baby may have a fever, and he needs increased attention from his mother.
Up to a year old, a child may cry at night when they discover that mom and dad are not around. Another reason for a child’s crying at night may be sudden noise or loud sounds. Between the ages of 2 and 3 years, children can be very sensitive to pain, especially sensitive to fear. Therefore, you must always be prepared to pay attention to the child and calm him down in time.
You should know that an infant's sleep consists of half an active phase and half a passive phase. The child tends to wake up precisely in the active phase - the phase of superficial sleep. You need to be prepared for this situation, to react to how the child tosses and turns, maybe moans in his sleep or tries to say something.

If SUDDENLY your baby's calm sleep has changed to hysterical crying at night (most often, it is difficult to wake up the child and bring him to his senses), then parents should pay attention to several possible reasons for such “nightly” behavior.

And at the same time help your child survive this period:

Know how to behave as parents at NIGHT
Know what is good for a child DAYtime

If you think that this problem is only yours, then you are deeply mistaken. At the moment, doctors and psychologists note mass appeals on this matter (but our mothers, and even more so, our grandmothers, suffered from this much less often).

Of course, you can dismiss everything as nightmares (and to some extent this is true), but nightmares are not a cause, but a consequence.

When a child (and even an adult) receives severe stress or lives in a state of stress (i.e. constant nervous tension), the unconscious tries to respond to this state, incl. and in nightmares.

The article is long (several posts), and the night may be approaching for you, so I will immediately write how to properly respond to your baby’s nighttime crying (hysterics). And in the morning, with a fresh mind, you will finish reading both the reasons and the daily actions.

ATTENTION! When a child begins to cry in his sleep (scream sharply), under no circumstances wake him up to calm him down.

You are required to BE CLOSE to your baby and make sure he doesn't get hit if he starts to crawl or move. Many people know that if they take a baby in their arms, the child kicks, breaks out, bends, like a stretched string. Those. his reaction to your reassurances is exactly the opposite.

PLEASE understand (and try not to get angry or irritated - this will only make the situation worse) that your child is very disoriented at this moment.

Even if it seems to you that he is awake, he is under the influence of a nightmare, and your attempts to calm him down are simply a continuation of the horror that is unfolding in his head. He may shout sharply, resist you - and only because he cannot distinguish a dream from reality.

A child's brain (unlike an adult's brain) cannot switch quickly IMMEDIATELY after waking up. It takes him time to understand: what is happening is unreal, his mother is nearby, and everything is fine.

So, YOUR behavior at NIGHT:

you are present nearby
protect your child from injuries and falls
try quietly humming a lullaby (to which he usually fell asleep as a baby)
or quietly and recitatively read a prayer
or quietly, softly, gently call the child by name (without changing intonation, maintaining the same rhythm)
or say quietly and softly: “Mom is nearby, we are together, mom is nearby, we are together...”

IMPORTANT! Every child is unique (and so is their nightmare). Therefore, if you see that your chanting, prayer, calling by name is affecting for the worse (the screaming intensifies), then do it all SILENTLY - ABOUT YOURSELF. Call and calm the child’s soul, and she will hear you without words. We'll deal with the individual later today.

When the child begins to calm down and come to his senses, lie down next to him and stay with him until he calmly falls asleep.

And in the morning, run to the computer to study the REASONS, find a situation that suits you, correct the situation and SLEEP QUIETLY.

To be continued in the next post

Rubric by Kachanova N.A. Happy parents

PART 2. The first reason why children scream at night - Read HERE
why a child screams at night

How to ensure your baby has a restful sleep?

In order for your child to wake up less at night, his room needs to have:

Optimal air temperature (18-20 degrees)
No drafts
The baby's room should be well ventilated
If a child is afraid of the dark, a soft, dim lamp should be lit at night.
There should be no sharp or loud sounds in the room or house at all.
The room should not have many carpets on the walls and floor to prevent dust from accumulating
A child can sleep with a favorite toy if it helps him feel calmer
Mom and dad should always be ready to get up and calm a crying baby. This way he will feel safe.

In such conditions, you will forget about this nightmare question; “Why does a child cry in his sleep?”, and the child’s crying will occur much less often because the parents have done everything possible for the comfort of their baby.

The child wakes up at night and cries and screams terribly. Why does this happen and how can I help it?

A very common request in parent groups goes something like this: “My child suddenly started waking up in the middle of the night with terrible screams, he seems to be sleeping, but at the same time he screams terribly, it is impossible to calm him down, and this is very frightening. What is this and how to deal with it?

It turns out that this condition in children is not uncommon, and in general there is nothing terrible here. But there are some things you need to know to be prepared. Children's neurologist Sergei Zaitsev wrote about this in detail in his telegram channel.

Episodes of strange behavior in a child associated with sudden, inappropriate awakening at an inappropriate period of the sleep cycle are a very common and at the same time unique group of sleep disorders (parasomnias) that most often frighten and upset parents.

Probably every person has encountered night terrors or night terrors. Approximately one to three hours after falling asleep, the child suddenly gets up and begins to scream horribly in a heart-rending voice.

Mom rushes to help, tries to pick her up and calm her down, but the baby doesn’t recognize her, pushes her away, fights, escapes like an animal caught in a trap. The child is in panic, disoriented, eyes wide open, gaze fixed, horror frozen on his face, there is no reaction to those around him, he beats and scratches, tries to jump out of bed and run away, he may shout: “Go away, don’t touch me!” or scream silently. Sometimes the baby is all wet from sweat, his heart is pounding quickly, his breathing is rapid. This behavior of a child is easy to explain - it’s just that at this moment he is very, very SCARED!

It is possible that the attack stops just as instantly and unexpectedly, and the baby is fast asleep again.

Sometimes attempts to calm or wake up a child do not lead to success, but only aggravate the problem. In this case, it usually takes from several minutes to half an hour before the child finally wakes up and calms down.

But even after this, he is confused and seems confused; it is difficult to get an intelligible explanation from him of what happened. Of course, the next day there are no clear memories of the night's events.

Most often, night terrors appear when children begin to refuse daytime sleep.

In this case, long periods of daytime wakefulness and fatigue lead to significant stress and overload in the system regulating sleep rhythms. In this regard, the slow-wave sleep phase becomes significantly deeper and more intensified, which can complicate the correct adequate transition to the superficial (rapid eye movement) sleep phase.

Night terrors are invariably associated with the activation of certain brain regions during deep (slow) sleep, usually in the first third of the night cycle. In a simplified way, such a mechanism can be represented in the form of a mismatch in the work of nerve centers, which occurs in a dream after the accumulation of severe fatigue or information overload (stress).

At the same time, individual systems of the brain, having received a strong emotional charge during the day, are easily excited and give the command to transition into superficial sleep, generating dreams. And others, having not recovered properly after a hard day of work, “believe” that the time for intensive work has not yet come, and continue to be in a deep sound sleep. This contradiction spills out in the form of the most powerful and ancient human emotions - fears and horrors.

Night terrors are quite common (from two to eight percent of all children), usually occurring in impressionable children aged two to six years, mainly during periods of fatigue, lack of sleep or stress.

Most often, night terrors occur in boys, but as they grow older, this proportion changes, and the proportion of girls increases to about half.

Despite this picture, which brings horror to parents, rare night terrors are usually benign, do not cause serious health problems, disappear on their own and rarely require treatment.

Enough certain routine measures, as well as medical advice, and the problem can be solved. However, this does not mean that even with rare night terrors, parents should calmly wait for the child to “outgrow” and the night attacks will end on their own.

Since consciousness can be turned off at the time of such an attack, only a neurologist, using special research methods (nighttime video-EEG monitoring, polysomnography), will be able to recognize nocturnal epileptic seizures (see ABC of epilepsy), which insidiously hide under the guise of harmless night fears and require serious treatment.

What should parents do during and after their child has night terrors?

Don't panic or fuss, stay calm.

Night terror is not a crisis that threatens the mental and physical health of the baby. Do not take rash actions: do not try to wake up the child in any way. Usually it is enough to just wait for the attack to end. Of course, it’s hard to do nothing but just watch: you need to have iron restraint and calm.

If the child is in a state of pronounced motor agitation (beats and scratches, tries to jump up and run away, etc.) - ensure the physical safety of the child by gently holding him in your arms or on the bed.

Carefully monitor the child throughout the entire period of the attack and after it, in order to describe it in detail to a specialist (according to the plan, see below).

If the child does wake up, gently reassure him, distract him, carefully try to find out how he feels and what he may remember.

The next day, do not discuss the night attack with your child or in his presence.

This can lead to the formation of neurotic reactions and the appearance of daytime fears and anxiety. However, very carefully and diplomatically, without directly mentioning the night's adventure, you need to make a careful attempt to find out possible memories of the previous night.

Sometimes, very rarely, you can try letting your child spend the rest of the night in bed with you.

In no case should you forget about the threat of the formation of unconscious, so-called “side benefits”. Watching how a frightened mother “dances” and fusses around him, allowing him to sleep in bed with her, the child becomes subconsciously “interested” in such nightly adventures. True, this is more typical for nightmares.

The instinctive desire for such “benefit” can naturally lead to manipulation and progression of these disorders. That is why, after an attack, you should not enthusiastically give water and food to the child, leave him in bed with adults, and, in general, overly cherish and pamper him.

Be sure to monitor your rest and sleep patterns - a rested and well-slept child is much less likely to have night terrors.

This can be achieved in different ways. If there is no nap, you can try to put your child to bed during the day; this works especially well for younger children. You can try to go to bed in the evening earlier than usual and (or) strive to prolong the sweet morning sleep.

The process of falling asleep, preferably at the same time, should be maximally adapted to relax and calm the child. Create a specific bedtime ceremony: telling fairy tales, reading books, listening to music or sounds of nature (the sound of rain and wind, sea surf, etc.) perfectly helps the child relax and fall asleep peacefully.

Make it a rule to talk to your child before bed and discuss the events that happened during the day. If you manage to gain trust, you need to gently push the child to discuss in detail his fears, worries and anxiety for the whole day. In this way, certain components, and sometimes all the stress that has accumulated over the whole day of a hectic life, full of stress, grief and joy, will be destroyed.

It is necessary to instill in the child complete confidence in strong parental protection and a feeling of absolute invulnerability.

The organization of the process of falling asleep should provide the child with only positive feelings and thoughts as much as possible. An ordinary “baby monitor” is an excellent help. In this case, the child will be absolutely sure that the parents will always be able to hear extraneous night noises and come to the rescue.

The child’s sleeping space (crib) should be extremely isolated from irritating factors: strong noise, bright light, radiation from household electrical appliances, etc.

With frequent night terrors, sometimes an early “unscheduled” awakening helps greatly.

If you gently and gently try to awaken your child from sleep approximately 30-60 minutes after falling asleep and then put him back to sleep, this can radically change the sleep cycle and thwart the “insidious plans” of night fears.

If night terrors recur and interfere with life, consultation with a specialist is necessary.

But! Parents should always remember that any book recommendations, even the smartest ones, are not the ultimate truth and a guide to immediate thoughtless actions. Perhaps completely different advice is suitable for your child - analyze, reflect, listen to your inner voice.

And finally, the most important thing is psychological comfort in the family and peace of mind of the people around the child.

General interpretation of such a dream

Why do you dream that a child is crying? The most popular decryption will be - this is bad luck. Moreover, failure can overtake you in any field - family, work, love.
There is another interpretation of such a dream - esoteric. It says: this child is you, and you burst into tears because of your weakness and indecision. These spiritual qualities prevent you from achieving success, and at the moment you can only note your own mistakes and missed opportunities.
A crying baby dreamed of on the eve of an important family event is a disappointment.
If in a dream you saw yourself in childbirth, they gave you a baby in your arms and he cried, such a dream signifies good changes in your life.

What kind of child was this?

Breastfeeding baby. Unlike other “children’s” dreams, this one promises you joy and happiness. Perhaps you will make peace with a person with whom you have been quarreling for a long time.
If this butuz also craps himself, the dream says: at work you will be bombarded with small but troublesome duties (tasks). Well, if you took the little one in your arms and he got you dirty, the dream becomes good, foreshadowing a stable income.
Preschooler. If you see a child crying in a dream, and even a three-year-old, this means that you have difficulties in your business. Perhaps you put everything (all) of yourself into your work, but get nothing as a return.
Girl. Some pleasant surprise awaits you. It is quite possible that it will be associated with an unplanned replenishment of your wallet.
Boy. The business to which you devoted so much time and effort will not bring profit. And vice versa: you almost missed something in your life. Think about what it could be: communication with children, an abandoned hobby that could generate income?
Teenager. The dream foreshadows mental tossing and suffering (most likely love).
Your own child. If in a dream a woman calms her crying child, this means family troubles. Did you manage to calm your baby down? This means that you will also avoid problems associated with disagreements among relatives.
If you only heard the cry of your child, but did not see him, this dream is a sign of peace of mind and success in business (or improving your financial situation in another way).

Who is the dreamer?

Young woman. If you are single and in your dream your baby burst into tears, prepare your nervous system: the dream promises you separation from your loved one (maybe even your fiancé) and subsequent melancholy, more like depression.
If a girl dreams of a baby, the crying of a baby in a dream says: you will soon see two lines on the test. One “but”: your boyfriend may not like this news.
A woman who recently gave birth. Have you heard a baby crying, although in fact your child was snoring peacefully in the crib? This dream warns that you are experiencing postpartum depression.
Man. The most common interpretation is that you are too confident in yourself. Urgently remove the “crown” from your own head, otherwise fate will remove it itself. Perhaps your arrogance will bring you problems at work.
For you to see a crying child with real “peas” flowing down his face, and he smears them with his fingers on his cheeks and clothes - to money problems. Moreover, the troubles will be associated with a fairly substantial amount. Therefore, it is better not to take on debts, loans or act as a guarantor in a bank.
A bachelor dreams of a crying baby as a sign of a bad end to a business he recently started doing.

What did you do in your dream?

They rocked the “reva” in their arms. Was it a very small child of any gender? A close person (loved one or good friend) will soon “reward” you with betrayal or deception.
Just calming a crying baby? Through this dream, fate warns you: soon your life will resemble a roller coaster, but all problems will be within your reach.
Have you tried to calm the baby? Your subconscious says: you now have such inner strength that any undertaking will be within your reach. Go for it, everything will work out!
Have you calmed a child who was literally crying? This dream is a sign of problems associated with children you don’t know.
Have you observed a baby's hysterics: rolling on the floor, loud exclamations, a sea of tears? If you blurt out too much, you could end up in an unpleasant situation. Think carefully about what you are frank with others about, and under no circumstances pretend to be a “guy guy” with a prim boss or mother-in-law.