A recent study of Women are having three times as many sex dreams as their grandmothers did 50 years ago showed that modern girls aged 16–30 years old have erotic dreams three times more often than their grandmothers half a century ago and almost as often as their peers -men. The authors explained: women have clearly said goodbye to their former inhibitions, and the topic of sex has ceased to be a taboo.
According to the same source, up to 18% of dreams for both men and women are somehow related to erotic experiences. Dreams about sex are 3-4 times more common than stories about sports or politics. But as more people experience pleasure or even orgasm in their sleep, questions ranging from “What does that mean?” to “Am I okay?”
Let’s answer the second one right away: erotic dreams are normal. Let’s look at the meaning of some popular stories in more detail.
Sex with ex-partner
You haven't seen your ex-girlfriend or boyfriend since university. And suddenly in a dream you had crazy sex. What to do? Maybe this is a sign and it’s time to write to your ex-love on social networks? Take your time!
Sex therapists assure A Sex Dream About An Ex Might Be Confusing, But Here's What It Really Means that such dreams are completely natural even for people who are happily married and raising four children. It is unlikely that the old feelings are still alive (although sometimes this is true). It's just that while we sleep, our brain is busy sorting memories and creating sometimes unexpected associations.
It is possible that some nuances of your current relationship remind you of the past. Or you caught a glimpse of a person with vaguely familiar features that evoked nostalgia. And if sex in a dream was so-so, perhaps this indicates that your priorities have changed and you have begun to think more about your own pleasure.
Tina Tessina
psychotherapist, author of the book “How to Live as a Couple and Stay Free”
Erotic dreams with exes may mean that you are trying to rethink past experiences and strive not to repeat mistakes.
Intimate connection in a man's dream
The intimate connection that a man sees in his dream may mean that he actually needs new experiences, although he may not even realize this in real life. He really wants to have an affair or meet a beautiful girl in order to experience the pinnacle of bliss with her.
If you dreamed of an intimate relationship with an older woman, then you should expect new job offers in the near future, which will turn out to be very profitable and will bring financial well-being. Maybe the person will find a new job. Achieve a promotion and organize your own business.
If in a dream there was no feeling of pleasure from spending time with a special female person, then in reality you should agree to earn money in a new way and take risks, everything will definitely work out.
If in a dream you dreamed of an interesting story where a woman cheated on her husband with the dreamer, then you should be careful in real life so as not to get into a delicate situation yourself.
Sex with a star
Intimacy with idols is a popular erotic fantasy. But what if you dreamed of sex with a star you're indifferent to? Why did this particular person penetrate your subconscious and bed (even if not in reality)?
“Celebrities in dreams often reflect a thirst for recognition of some of our merits, efforts or abilities,” says How seriously should you take your sex dreams? somnologist and author of books on the meaning of dreams, Laurie Levenberg. - Ask yourself: “What first comes to mind in connection with this star?” Song? Perhaps the answer lies in its name. Movie or TV series? It’s possible that you identify with the character or draw parallels between the plot and your life.”
Levenberg cites the example of a client of his who dreamed about sex with Lenny Kravitz, although she was never a fan of his. When the name was mentioned, the woman’s first thought was the dystopia “The Hunger Games.”
It turned out that she was desperately trying to lose weight, but no one noticed her efforts and modest success. Then the subconscious used the image that Lenny played in the film to warn: achieving the target weight can only be done at the cost of giving up food. Fortunately, the expert managed to convince his ward: health is more valuable!
Astrologers about dreams
If psychiatrists are sure that dreams of a sexual nature speak of our secret desires, hidden deep in the subconscious, then astrologers, on the contrary, are convinced that this is just a projection of real life problems and not at all in the intimate sphere. For example, a dream in which a girl makes love to a completely unfamiliar man does not at all indicate a real desire to do this. Such a dream most likely indicates a conflict at work, with family or with friends, which she cannot resolve. In other words, if in reality it is not possible to deal with the problem, then in a dream a person receives satisfaction (especially if the dream is accompanied by an orgasm).
It is very important what emotions a person experienced during sleep, what sensations remained in the morning. Depending on the impressions received, there will be different interpretations of what you see. This is why you can still have vulgar dreams from an astrological point of view.
Sex with your boss or colleague
If you are not in love with the hero or heroine of the office plot, then the essence of such a dream is not sexual desires, but career ambitions. Sex with management is a cry of What Do Your Sex Dreams Mean? subconscious that you feel leadership qualities in yourself and are ready to make responsible decisions.
Closeness with colleagues is more difficult to decipher. The already mentioned Laurie Levenberg advises thinking about what three words best describe the one or the one who has crept into your brain. And then figure out which of this set you would like to “appropriate.” Perhaps you secretly admire his or her determination, sense of humor, or ability to come up with ideas. Use your dream as a hint as to what qualities you would like to develop in yourself.
Erotic dreams for women
If a woman sees a sexual relationship in a dream, then she does not feel satisfaction in real life and relationships. Her entire subconscious yearns for new sensations, but finds no answer. Dreams of an erotic nature are visited by those women who are planning something very serious and keeping it secret.
A beautiful person thinks whether it is worth putting her ideas into action, and therefore suffers from uncertainty. However, higher powers do not suggest anything, so you will have to make a decision yourself.
Sleeping with a Celebrity
Relationships with famous personalities in a dream guarantee that you will find yourself in embarrassment in the near future. A person will be an object of ridicule due to his own stupidity and carelessness.
Exaggerating your own capabilities can be a shame. Before you do anything and expect praise, you need to think it over very carefully so as not to make mistakes in your calculations. Also, don’t talk about all your plans at once.
Take part in non-standard games
Unusual sexual acts that men dream about show envy of others in real life. The dreamed person is likely to be a strong competitor or a serious obstacle in a certain area.
You need to carefully remember the details of the dream, understand who dominated the sex scenes, then it will be possible to calculate the winner in the difficult struggle for the right to primacy. Girls see such dreams because of their own selfish nature, because only narcissism can give rise to dreams of this direction.
Communication with a stranger
Such dreams usually foreshadow changes in life that will soon occur. A person is very afraid of this, but tries to perceive changes joyfully and hopes for the best.
Sometimes such dreams can be seen by those who do not know which decision will be correct, do not understand where to move next, in which direction.
Dreaming about incest
Seeing such a dream is very unpleasant, but it does not portend anything bad. If a person saw this, then his family and friends will soon help him; the relatives will take the dreamer’s side and provide him with reliable protection and safety.
A person who was present in a dream during lovemaking will definitely save or help out in the very near future.
Contacting your ex
You need to think carefully, maybe the person really misses his previous relationship and suffers because of this, which is why he sees such a dream. This could be a game of the subconscious, a desire to return to the old relationship.
If, in addition to intimacy, a person perfectly remembers the surrounding environment from a dream, then he misses moments from previous relationships.
Intimacy with your spouse's friend
You need to be careful in your relationships with your partner in real life. The relationship will deteriorate sharply due to the fault of the spouse or loved one, and only through their fault.
Very soon the partner will feel only indifference to the dreamer. He will not perform the actions from the dream, but will become an unusually cold-blooded and insensitive person. However, do not despair, because all this will soon pass and the relationship will improve.
Rape in a dream
If during a dream a person observed this process, then he is too worried about people who cannot be helped in real life.
If in a dream the dreamer had to become a victim, then he urgently needs to get rid of stress. There are too many troubles going on in life these days that have caused mental exhaustion. You need to take a vacation or change your environment so that you no longer have nightmares.
Sometimes people may have a dream in which the rapist is hiding behind an impenetrable mask. You need to take a closer look at the people around you, perhaps they are preparing a trick and planning something evil, even to commit betrayal. The dreamer is beneficial for such individuals, so there is a desire to manipulate him. You should not give in to provocation to avoid problems in the future.
If the dreamer himself was a rapist, then in real life he is very embittered and is in nervous tension. You need to pacify your anger so as not to harm others.
Erotica and fantasy
If the dream turned out to be quite unusual, for example, a relationship and passion arose with an alien or the action took place in the past, then the person experiences desires that he cannot bring to life.
Perhaps a person suffers from loneliness or suffers without intimate relationships in reality. If there is a permanent relationship, then people are afraid to experiment in bed.
Sex with someone who is taboo for you
There are two common interpretations of erotic dreams involving forbidden fruit, such as your best friend's wife or your sister's husband.
The first explains this phenomenon by subconscious curiosity: what did the person close to you find in your partner? The second reminds us that taboo is always attractive. According to experts at What Those Inappropriate Dreams Really Mean, sleep is a safe haven where we can forget about the limitations we impose on ourselves day after day. It is not surprising that the main “no” may be at the center of the plot.
In any case, if you suddenly find yourself in bed with the love of your best friend, you don’t have to torment yourself in the morning with the question: “Or maybe I really want this, I’m just afraid to admit it?” Don't make life difficult for yourself. The point, most likely, is in the experiences that are caused either by the “deceived friend” himself, or even by events and situations that are not related to him.
Alexis Conason
clinical psychologist
Dreaming about sex with your best friend's partner may be associated with violating your boundaries, competition, or feelings of guilt that you feel about something else.
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How to induce an erotic dream?
Night visions may have nothing to do with reality, but in an attempt to experience new things and get deeper into their subconscious, people begin to think about how to make them have an erotic dream. In this matter, two conditions are important: physiological and emotional. Long before bedtime, you need to abstain from tea, coffee and alcohol, be content with a light dinner, avoid physical and mental overstrain, and when going to bed, tune in to the right mood and indulge in erotic fantasies. It is important to clearly understand the situation and the intended partner.
What is an erotic dream?
Such phenomena are an uncontrollable part of human life, although they are perceived as reality. There is no moral framework in such cases, so they can be frank, depraved, repulsive and frightening. The object of fantasy can be real people or fictional characters (heroes of films and books). In any case, erotic dreams are not deviations from the norm. They are most frequent during puberty, but visit a person throughout life with varying regularity, regardless of marital status, absence or presence of a sexual partner.
How to get rid of erotic dreams?
When the cause is found, but the problem has not been eliminated, you can look for its solution in yourself. Spicy dreams (and especially women's erotic dreams) are often fueled by emotional experiences and rich imagination. The person himself encourages their appearance precisely with sexual overtones, for example, by watching films about love at night or reading explicit novels. The quality of your night's rest will help improve your complete disconnection from the outside world. In at least an hour, you need to put away all gadgets, put the book aside and calm down as much as possible.
Kinds
Representatives of the fair sex mainly observe such dreams in moments of sexual preoccupation, i.e. when they are deprived of sexual satisfaction. This is possible in moments of loneliness or dissatisfaction with a partner.
It is at this time that all the taboos of childhood and forgotten fantasies are remembered.
Erotic dreams are divided into several groups, namely:
- When sexual intercourse with all kinds of participants, even strangers, is observed in all details. These dreams usually suggest what exactly the body would like to experience.
- Dreams with plots completely abstracted from sex, but causing sexual arousal. They talk about a person’s suppression of sexual desires, enslavement, and a lack of tenderness and affection.
- Dreams with unnatural events, the participants of which may be animals, various objects and same-sex partners. The most interesting thing is that such visions, indicating a lack of tenderness, are absolutely normal. In men, they usually talk about increased sexual activity.
