The father of psychoanalysis thoroughly left a legacy in the history of psychology by expressing the idea that only men and extremely rarely women can be fetishists. This is because fetishism as a phenomenon occurs in little boys who are frightened when they see female genitalia for the first time. And then a strong attraction to some object, role or part of the body becomes their psychological strategy for experiencing the castration complex.
Lorraine Gamman, professor of design at the University of the Arts London, and Merja Makinen, an expert on 20th-century feminist literature, argue in Feminine Fetishism that phallocentric psychoanalytic discourse has reserved fetishes for men. But in the 21st century it needs to be introduced into the female field, they say.
To do this, we asked our readers to take a survey and tell us about their “things.” 1871 girls took part in it: 62.3% heterosexual, 31.6% bisexual and 2.9% homosexual, the remaining 3.2% were undecided or pansexual. We have recorded their most popular fetishes.
Various practices and variations of BDSM
55% of respondents wrote about BDSM. The most popular were strangulation, tying up, humiliation, fake rape and spanking. The vast majority of responses represented the woman’s victimized position. And every fourth was accompanied by explanations “only with my consent” and “I don’t accept this in life.”
Psychology professor Joe Magliano tried to explain people's desire to obey. He interviewed submissives and dominants about how they felt before and after sessions, plus measured their physiological parameters. Both bottoms and tops said that after sex they felt a stronger sense of intimacy and became more relaxed, meaning their level of psychological stress decreased. But at the same time, cortisol increased in the lower ones, which indicated the presence of severe physical stress.
Maybe subs and doms experience different sensations, the researchers suggested and invited switches into the experiment, who could participate in the session from both the position of the bottom and the top.
The subs experienced temporary hypofrontality, which means that the activity of certain parts of the brain was temporarily reduced, especially the one responsible for pain. Plus, a feeling of euphoria appeared, time was distorted, there was a feeling of “here and now” - the dream of all meditators. Dominants, on the contrary, were focused on completing the task. But both states are pleasant, so the researchers suggested that they may well motivate people to return to such practices.
Psychologists explain the passion for BDSM games by the fact that this is an opportunity for a person to relieve himself of all responsibility, shift it to a partner whom you trust, and relax in such a simple way. This idea is also supported by sex-positive feminists who advocate BDSM. For example, Gail Rubin writes in Deviance: “Most people confuse their sexual preferences with a universal system that should work for everyone.” In general, the fact that women like the role of the victim in bed does not always mean that she supports sexism or dreams of making the game her everyday reality - she just may want to switch.
Male body parts
The second most popular (18%) female fetish is hands, both male and female. Mostly the girls wrote about long fingers, protruding veins, and licking the hands of their partner. One can speculate that hands are most often visible and, in principle, convenient to look at, but there are no scientific studies about this fetish.
In terms of frequency of mentions, men's buttocks and legs do not catch up with fingers and veins, but 2.9% of women indicated these body parts as their passion.
A study by University of California psychology professor Kerry Johnson found that male buttocks that were too large were perceived by heterosexual survey participants as an expression of hypermasculinity, while male buttocks that were too flat were perceived as an expression of femininity. But the middle ground—lean and medium-sized—were the most attractive to women because they reflected an optimal level of masculinity. On the other hand, if we move away from gender optics, then the basic tactile sensations from tense parts of the body can indeed be very pleasant, be it the body of a man or a woman.
Subconscious
On a subconscious level, your lower limbs are what keep you on your feet. This means that how confident you feel depends on their condition. Seeing your dirty feet in a dream is a sign that you are experiencing some doubts. Perhaps you believe that you are doing bad things. The dream book does not rule out that your thoughts may have some basis. But often such a dream only means that you depend too much on the opinions of others. Sometimes you need to give yourself a little freedom and not think about how you will appear in the eyes of other people.
Big difference in age
5% of heterosexual and bisexual women told us that they are attracted to older men (the difference starts at 10 years old).
Based on Freud's work, psychologist Olga Kuznetsova explains this attraction by the lack of a close connection with the father, or his complete absence in the child's life. She also sees one of the reasons as the unfinished separation process: the girl flew out of her parent’s nest without breaking the umbilical cord and landed in the nest of her new guardian. These guesses can also apply to homosexual relationships, only the father figure needs to be replaced by the mother.
Professor Medellin Fugger, in The Social Psychology of Attraction and Romantic Relationships, looks at this from an evolutionary biological perspective. A man views a young girl as a fertile individual who bears offspring, and a woman chooses an older male because he has more resources (read living space and money) to feed these offspring.
Another hypothesis, which was confirmed in her study by Katherine Tidenberg, a professor at Tallinn University, is that women like the dominance of an adult man. Since he has had more time to develop his intellect, gain status, and accumulate material wealth, he is in a higher position. Some girls in our survey mentioned the role-playing game DD/LG (Daddy Dom/Little Girl), in which they are cared for, praised, but also educated: if she does something bad, she receives physical punishment from daddy. Essentially, this is the same BDSM, only in different settings.
What does a dream about Dirty Feet mean according to the Psychological Dream Book
If you saw ugly legs, it means that you will have to do things that are obviously unsuccessful, and your friends will show their worst traits. Wounded legs dream of losses and illnesses. A wooden leg is dreamed of by those who may behave dishonestly towards friends. Are your feet covered in sores? Remember - wastefulness will destroy you. Did you dream that you had three legs or even more? Such a dream dispels illusions about expected income. A dream in which your legs gave out predicts poverty and deprivation. If your leg is amputated, it may result in the loss of friends or loved ones. If a woman dreams that she has hairy legs, she will have a henpecked husband. Seeing your legs slender and beautiful means a bright future and finding true friends.
A uniform
5% of girls named uniforms as their fetish. Most said that they were turned on by military or police uniforms. For some reason, psychologists pay little attention to this “sticking.” But Drs Bugra and De Silva of the University of Psychiatry in London looked at the function of the outfit and its connection to sexual fantasies and fetishism. They write that uniforms can be sexually attractive simply because they are stylish, such as the uniform of the Italian Carabinieri. But the authors also argue that it can represent authority, experience, care, punishment and the personality itself. Plus the shape can add believability to role-playing. If a masochist wants to be ordered to do something, then an order from a partner in a military uniform will be like an electric shock to his sympathetic nervous system.
The girls who wrote in the survey that they were aroused by the uniform of the security forces tried to explain their predilection by saying that it exudes power and authority. Which confirms the theory of psychologists about the representation of functions. Moreover, the uniform was not the only fetish in any of the answers; it was always accompanied by some kind of BDSM practice or mention of dominance, coercion and humiliation. That is, the fetishization of the form was an addition to their desire to be in a submissive role.
Thin and tall
Slightly fewer women (4.4%) identified the image of a tall, thin or asthenic man as the most attractive and called it their fetish. Evolutionary studies say that women choose men who are taller than average and athletic (but not oversized) because they subconsciously see them as potential carriers of good genes and a caring father of the family.
The same study says that women are less attracted to "jocks" because testosterone makes them hypermasculine.
They may be more aggressive and less stable in family affairs, therefore, only the woman will have to take care of the genetically promising offspring.
Unpleasant foot odor in men
Due to the physiological characteristics of the structure of the body, the sweat glands of men are larger, and their number on the body is greater than in women. Therefore, the sweating process of the stronger half of humanity is more active and they suffer from hyperhidrosis (increased sweating) more often.
The second reason for increased sweating in men is greater body weight than women, and, accordingly, the amount of fluid in the body.
Therefore, high physical activity, the use of closed, protective shoes and non-compliance with personal hygiene rules cause hyperhidrosis in almost every man and, as a result, unpleasant foot odor.
Lingerie and stockings
Typically, stockings and lingerie are considered male fetishes. Moreover, there are entire businesses selling used items of underwear. One American website promises a stable income of $200 a day. And on Youtube you can find tips from professionals on how to quickly sell your panties and earn money for a college semester. Of course, prices in Russia are very different. The main share of trading operations takes place on VKontakte. In groups, participants publish photographs of underwear on their bodies or neatly laid out on the sofa, and in the comments there are buyers who offer from 500 to 1000 rubles.
4.1% of our respondents named lingerie and stockings as their passions. Moreover, there were equally heterosexual women with bisexual women (who meant underwear on their partner) and homosexual women. Freund tried to justify his particular predilection for stockings on women with the help of the theory of disruption of the courtship process.
This process has four stages: attraction, intimacy, touching and sex itself.
Some people may get stuck at one of the stages, for example, becoming very aroused by the sight of stockings or lingerie while undressing their partner (the third stage according to Freund), and then they forget why the whole mess started in the first place.
Such a guess could explain the fetish of bisexual and homosexual women who wrote about lingerie and stockings in our survey. But she does not work with heterosexual girls who wrote about the excitement of stockings and lingerie on their bodies, as well as heterosexual girls who really like men in stockings.
What do dirty feet mean according to dream books?
- Freud is clear on this issue. You are attracted to sex, money, you want to have everything at once and completely. A little sex and a little money won't satisfy you. Dirty feet are a sign of extreme ambition. You are ready to go over heads or overturned stomachs for the sake of your goal, and you are not embarrassed by the details. You are incredibly sensual, passionate, you are burned by the heat of your heart and greed in your soul. People of the opposite sex, and even of your gender, are unable to resist your charisma, and with admiration they are ready to give you everything they have. But it's never enough for you. What can you do, this is your path now. A little caution and attention won't hurt. Beware of ill-wishers, but rather make friends with them.
- Miller firmly points out the machinations of envious people and ill-wishers who will interfere with you at any cost, even to their detriment.
- Only dirty, ideally shaped feet are attractive. Someone else's dirty feet, sick, swollen, with ulcers, infected with fungus, with broken nails or cracked heels mean illness and suffering.
- Damaged and dirty nails mean compromised external protection. Dirty and cracked heels - the internal protection is damaged, your emotions and feelings are currently distorted by suffering. Most likely, you yourself cause suffering; you like the fate of the unfortunate and disadvantaged. If you endlessly tell friends and acquaintances about your difficult childhood in the hope of sympathy and understanding, stop. In this state, you cannot move further, and no one needs to carry you. You're not such a valuable prize, to be honest.
- Your own injured legs, in wounds, with dirt and blood - you are losing your support and have clearly chosen the wrong path.
- Parasites attached to dirty feet, leeches. You are greatly underestimated, humiliated, put in a place lower than what you deserve. No one is interested in your opinion, but everyone will be happy to use your services, acquaintances, and money. Parasites significantly slow down your movement and weaken you. At the same time, you will not receive gratitude, even minimal. Get rid of parasites immediately. Keep in mind - they will be terribly unhappy.
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Smells
The majority of women who talked about smell as a fetish (3.2% in total) mentioned the smell of sweat in their partner's armpits and groin. Klaus Wedekind, a professor of biology at the University of Lausanne, conducted a study and found that partner choice is associated with the major histocompatibility complex. This is a group of genes that encodes proteins responsible for recognizing genetically foreign substances and triggering an immune response to them. This complex affects the smell of a person. If a woman likes the smell of her partner’s body, then their MHCs are as different as possible.
Anthropologist Raphael Chax from the French National Center for Scientific Research says this is done so that the human baby receives two different sets of genes, and therefore is more protected from more viruses and bacteria. But the MHC factor does not work with all human populations. In the Chucks study, for example, partner choice in African couples was not correlated with MHC. And Wedekind showed in his work that the work of this group of genes can be changed by taking contraceptives - then the woman will choose a partner who is more similar to her MHC. But we are talking about fetishes, not reproductive responsibility. Why can smells be so stimulating?
Two erogenous sensory systems help a person of any gender smell sexual aromas: the olfactory system, which picks up “conscious” odors, such as apple strudel, and the vomeronasal system, which is responsible for the perception of pheromones (scientists do not yet have a consensus on human pheromones).
An experiment in which men watched pornography while wearing special pads under their armpits showed that the smell of the sweat of aroused men activated parts of the brain associated with emotions and sexual thoughts in women.
Intelligence
Women in our survey often (2.6%) wrote that they were turned on by intellectuals and obvious nerds like Sheldon Cooper. On the one hand, you can have a constructive dialogue and come to an agreement with a smart partner. That is, the mind can act as an invisible defense against the behavior “I’ll take you anyway, because I’m a man.”
To test the “intelligence as an advertisement for wonderful genes” hypothesis, scientists examined 425 Vietnam War veterans and found that smart men had better sperm quality: more sperm, they were more motile and their concentration was higher. That is, one sex with a smart guy can produce better offspring. Plus, the “prodigy” himself may turn out to be a worthy candidate for providing for a growing family, because in the era of Google, a shy programmer in flip-flops has a better chance of feeding his children than a brutal lumberjack.
But that explanation doesn't work for gay women, who in our survey said they were turned on by smart women. Maybe then it's all about interest? Smart people are the new “bad boys”; you won’t get bored with them, because there will always be something to talk about after sex.
Footjob
Foot fetishism has also historically been reserved for men. So when 2.7% of the girls we surveyed admitted to having a foot fetish, we were surprised. A neuroscientist at the University of California at San Diego, Vileyanur Ramachandran, has an interesting theory about why people (men and women) may have a “stub” on their feet. He found that the areas of the brain that control leg movement are closely connected to the areas that control arousal. And he suggested that such a connection could explain foot fetishism. But this fetish can also be associated with a vivid experience from childhood (hello, Freud). One of the respondents wrote that at school she could not take her eyes off the geography teacher’s chiseled legs, but now her weakness for legs, unfortunately, does not resonate with her partners.
Why do you dream of someone’s Dirty Feet according to the dream book of fortune teller Evdokia
Washing dirty feet means traveling; calluses on the feet - wealth, profit; putting your feet in the fire means ending family quarrels. Having dentures (wooden) means unfair punishment, insult, false position; not having legs means success in work; put on shoes - to the fast road; losing shoes is a hindrance in a profitable business; bare feet dream of worsening matters; shoes that are bad on your feet are unreliable; finding shoes and putting them on means profit. For a man to see beautiful female legs in a dream - he will become recklessly infatuated with a young lady. Ugly, ugly legs are an unprofitable business, conflicts with friends. Injuring your leg means loss. Seeing your feet covered in ulcers means a decrease in profits. Seeing that you have three or more legs means that your enterprise is not profitable, your actions are not professional enough. If your legs do not listen to you - loss, poverty. Having a leg amputated means loss of friends and despotism at home. If your legs are slender and in good shape in a dream, this means a happy future and true friends. Seeing your bare feet red, inflamed, swollen is a sign of a shameful act, humiliation, a sharp deterioration in affairs and a major quarrel in the family. For a young woman to admire her legs - inappropriate vanity will alienate the man who adores her.
Sex in unusual places
2.5% of women shared that they are turned on by sex in unusual places or ordinary, but public ones. Some of them explained that they were aroused by the very risk of being heard or seen. And here there can be two emotions that include arousal.
Shame is like an intoxicant, but not a trigger for arousal. Moreover, this feeling will only work in the case of the association “shameful, but sexually pleasant” that developed in childhood. For example, if a child was spanked and the blows caused him erotic sensations.
The second feeling is danger. And here the sympathetic nervous system comes into play, which triggers the flight or fight response, followed by increased breathing, increased heart rate and a rush of blood to the muscles. The same system controls arousal and orgasm. Therefore, in dangerous situations, confusion of one reaction with another may occur. Research supports this theory. Canadian psychologists conducted an experiment: one group of women was forced to watch a travel film, and then turned on heteronormative porn; the second - they showed a video about amputation and then pornography. As a result, women from the second group were more aroused when watching an adult film, but in the survey they noted that they did not really want to have sex here and now.
Unpleasant foot odor: causes
The problem of disgusting foot odor, although delicate, is very common. It causes a lot of inconvenience to both its owners, teak and their environment.
Hyperhidrosis (increased sweating) is usually considered the main cause of bad odor, but this is not true. The liquid secreted by the human sweat glands, although it contains substances harmful to the body, has practically no odor.
However, it is a favorable environment for the proliferation of various microorganisms, which, as a result of their vital activity, release substances that have an unpleasant odor to humans.
Why does an unpleasant foot odor occur in a healthy person?
- failure to comply with basic foot hygiene: walking in dirty and wet shoes, using dirty socks, unwillingness to wash feet frequently and remove rough skin on the feet;
- wearing socks, stockings and tights made of cheap synthetic materials;
- wearing low-quality or tight shoes that do not provide air circulation;
- individual characteristics of the body that cause hyperhidrosis during an active lifestyle, physical activity, and in stressful situations.
Another reason is fungal infections, which disrupt the water-salt balance of the skin and create a favorable environment for the proliferation of pathogenic microorganisms.
Should I talk about my fetish or not?
Some more statistics from our survey. We assumed that it would be doubly difficult for women to admit their fetishes. But 59.6% of respondents said that they easily presented this information to their partner. And 24.4% are ashamed, but still speak. And only 16.1% never talked about their sexual preferences. Considering that most girls like one or another BDSM practice, and the BDSM topic is increasingly shedding its stigma and turning into an erotic cult, then these data do not look surprising. But, for example, foot fetishists more often wrote that they had to overcome shame, and coprophiles never talked about their attraction at all.
Next, we asked participants who had never discussed their erotic hobbies with their partners why this was happening. 46.9% responded that they were afraid of being rejected, 44.9% were very ashamed of their fetish, and only 8.2% considered their fetish to be terrible.
But numbers that demonstrate the reaction of partners can cheer up those who are about to reveal their secret to their lover or mistress. In 46.6% of cases, partners have a normal attitude towards fetishes, which overrides anxiety about rejection. And 31.9% of partners generally sympathize with the fetishes of the participants.
If the numbers don’t reduce anxiety, but you still want to talk about your desires, then the first thing you need to do is rate your relationship on a safety scale. If you easily share your experiences and are not shy about showing emotions, and your partner accepts you, then the proposal for a new sex format most likely will not cause a negative reaction. Those who have a psychologist partner are also lucky, as in the series “Billions,” where a married couple plays BDSM, because the coach wife understands that this helps her husband take a psychological break from working as a prosecutor. If you have not yet formed a secure attachment and your partner has not yet seen any of your emotional manifestations, because you think that he is not ready for this, then you can slowly approach from afar.
In such a situation, watching the same “50 Shades of Gray” together may work. On the one hand, you can make fun of the decaying pop culture, on the other hand, you can discuss interesting games that you could try. Also, a good bonding exercise would be to discuss your sex life at certain times, agreeing on shore not to be offended or judge, and fines can be introduced for violating these rules. For example, every Thursday you lie down in the negotiation bed and tell them what you like and what you don’t and make your suggestions. This way, one day you will be able to talk about your fetish, plus you will strengthen your relationship. And it may also turn out that your partner also has “points.” A good illustration of such conversations can be the first short story in the film “Little Death”, in which he admits his sexual desire for legs, and she admits that she wants to be raped.
And if you find yourself on the other side of the fetish and hear that your partner wants to play father and daughter, remember that almost 50% of the girls from our survey overcome fear when talking about their desire. Imagine, you made up your mind and finally did what you dreamed of for 10 years, what kind of response would you like to receive? Praise, understanding of what you've been through, gratitude. This is what needs to be shown to a person who has just opened the door to the world of his fantasies. After this, you should ask yourself whether you like this game or not and answer honestly, trying not to ruin a person’s life. In any case, it will be good if you take time to think. Maybe something new isn't so scary after all?
Where did you wash your feet in the dream?
After waking up, a person should remember the dream in all its details. The correct decoding of visions depends on the location of the action. For example, rinsing your feet under the tap is a symbol of fatigue. The dreamer should take a vacation and rest from work and everyday chores.
Wash in clean water
Soon, on the way to the intended goal, a person will encounter difficulties that must either be quickly eliminated or correctly circumvented. This situation will require a lot of strength and patience from you. However, you will definitely cope with all the troubles.
Another interpretation of such a dream is an unpleasant meeting with enemies. Perhaps this meeting will be directly related to work. You do meaningless work, so you will hear a lot of unpleasant words addressed to you.
Wash in a basin or bath
A dream in which a person washes his limbs in a basin personifies a thrifty person whose thoughts are occupied with worries about the future or nostalgia for the past. Such a person does not understand the value of the present time.
Washing your feet in the bath is a warning sign. Someone from the sleeper’s close circle will not keep his promise. This will greatly upset the dreamer and he will never trust this person again.
Wash under tap
If the dreamer had to wash his feet under the tap, then in reality he should postpone all matters until later and take his mind off the problems that have piled up. Due to chronic fatigue, you do not understand where you are going and what you are doing. A short break will help restore strength and energy for further work.
Get wet in a puddle
A dream in which you wet your feet in a puddle personifies you as an irresponsible person who likes to let things take their course. You have an infantile character, so the dream book warns you of further difficulties. If you don't change your behavior now, you will face big troubles in the future. Over time, other people will begin to solve your problems, so now is the time to grow up.
In a lake or river
Washing your limbs in a clean lake means a long, happy relationship. In addition, such a dream foreshadows family well-being.
When a person washes his feet in a river in a dream, he should pay attention to the transparency of the water. Clean water promises positive changes in life, while muddy water with an unpleasant odor indicates negative events, the consequences of which will be disastrous for the dreamer.
